2014 Update...

Hello blogging world... yes, I'm still determined to not let this little "blog" of mine die completely. I still keep occasionally breathing life into it. 

I'm mainly posting now as a means to catch up... and then to hopefully start to utilize this blog in a new way. 

So first of all, we had our 3rd child, a little girl we named Aria Grace. She is amazing. Sweet to the core. A GOOD BABY. A joy to my heart very day. I am so grateful to God for her.

photo credit: Digital Galleria Designs

My two boys have been fantastic with the transition too. They LOVE their little sister! She is the perfect little addition to our family. 

Secondly, I am now working part time, which has it's joys and heartaches. To be honest, my dream job would be a Stay At Home Mom. I would LOVE to be a full-time mom and housewife. It's the traditionalist in me. But I was able to secure a part-time position as the Activities Assistant at Homestead of Oskaloosa, a local assisted living facility.  I get to work as my MOM'S assistant, as she is the Activity Director. It's been wonderful! I LOVE the residents, my co-workers, and most of everything that the job entails. It's been a blessing to me! Before I got the job, I always hated that I never seemed to have the time to simply volunteer there, but now I get paid to hang out there. I hate saying goodbye to my babies for 20 hours a week, but it's also saved my sanity a few times- to get out of the house and have productive, adult interactions.

Those are two of the biggest, positive things going on. There are still challenges I'm facing, but really just don't feel like completely airing my dirty laundry on my blog. I might talk about them at a different time, but for now... I want to focus on the positive.

I HOPE to start using this blog as a means of chronicling my weight loss journey. It's hard to even think about it being a "weight loss journey" since even losing 5lbs. seems like a huge challenge right now. But I'm tired of being the weight I am and I want to change, so I'm doing a few things. Cutting out pop (which sucks), cutting out sugar (or at least a lot of it- which sucks), and just trying to make better choices as far as what I put in my body and how much I put in my body. I've also set up a exercise schedule with my sister, who is coming alongside me to encourage me, guide me, and keep me motivated. I'll most likely share all that stuff later... but it's still all in the beginning stages. First day of the new work out schedule is Friday... bright and early at 6am.

ugh. 

I'll end on a good note... more pics of Aria and her birth. <3 p="">

First few moments in my arms 

Aria's baptism, with Pastor Case at Central Reformed Church

Aria all dressed up for her special day

Growing fast!

Such a silly girl!

All 3 kiddos!

Our beautiful girl!

I kinda suck at this game.

SO... I've discovered that I basically SUCK at this whole "consistently blogging" thing. I pop in time and again throughout the year to, for some reason, broadcast my thoughts and family's doings for the world. While, really, who is reading? Ha! I admire those moms who blog every day, or even every week. And it's not like I don't have the time... it's just not a priority and I don't feel any responsibility to the blogging world. NO ONE out there is waiting on pins and needles to hear my thoughts and opinions... even if I've got plenty of them.

SO... to get me a BIT more excited about the whole blogging experience and maybe make my page a TAD more inviting, I think I'll invest some time into the design of my page and add some tags and such to categorize the different things I want to write about. Kiddos, pregnancy, politics, cooking, teaching, photography, TV/Movie/Book reviews, spiritual revelations... Like I said, I actually DO have a lot to say, not that you'd gather that from my weak blogging skills up to this point. :S *face-palm*

SO... this little blurp of a blog is just a little heads up to the great big world of blogging to !WATCH OUT!... I just MIGHT amp this blog up to a weekly thing! ;)

planning...

One of the main reasons that Justin attempted to avoid deployment was because he started school this  fall.  This was a huge thing for Justin since he's not a biggest fan of school, and has always kinda put it off. But he finally started attending classes at William Penn University, claiming a Computer Science major. Turns out he actually likes his classes and especially the challenge. He had planned to go year round, in hopes of graduating in only 3 years.  I'm so proud of him for going to school! I feel that education is SO important. 

But today he is meeting with his school adviser to tell them 

that he will have to quit school after this semester. 

One a "good" note, this news has encouraged us to not waste time and i can see how Justin is cherishing time with the boys.  There have been more moments of spontaneous giggles, more tickling, more sweet moments and more hugs. I could look at it as it's sad that it took this to bring that out... OR i could just be thankful. and soak it up. and i think that's what i'm going to do. 

processing...

A few months ago we heard the rumors that a deployment was possible... 

likely... 

then for sure. 

No idea when...

by the end of the year...

then spring...

then...

No idea to where... 

then we heard Baghdad... 

then Dubai... 

then... 

We had an out. 

Justin's re-enlistment was up before the estimated deployment date. 

...However...

my Justin, always the sailor, undeniably felt the pull.  

Where they send him, he will go.

A mentality which i admire in him very much. 

Except when they send him far away, 

into a more dangerous place than we've ever thought he would go.  

He signed his "Intent to Re-enlist", because of the feel of duty, as well the monetary benefits that were just as undeniable with my students loans coming due next year.  We told his mom and sister, and they weren't thrilled either, talking him through some thoughts he maybe hadn't thought of previously.  He then tried to backtrack... talking to his Senior Chief and pushing paper to recant his intent.  His Sr. Chief seemed optimistic and said with all his reasons (school, sister's wedding, wife's college graduation) that he stood a good shot of being able to recant his intent and not go on deployment.  

But we got the call yesterday that his orders were too far along in the process to be cancelled. The news shook us, as we'd been living with the understanding that he would be here for some MAJOR family events (graduations, weddings, trips, birthdays)... but then suddenly, he was missing from all the expected memories i'd had playing in my head. 

selfishly, my graduation being the big one. 

irrational thoughts starting pouring in... maybe he WANTED to go, maybe he had told his Sr. Chief to not try too hard, maybe he wanted to get away from daily life here, maybe he wanted to be on his own, away from the responsibility of husbandhood and fatherhood.  

But i realize that that is Satan using my insecurities and fear of abandonment to shake my trust in my dear husband... who was sitting right next to me, most likely feeling the same dread and fear i was. 

this all happened within a few moments inside my consciousness. 

Then, as i laid in bed last night, a new fear i haven't really faced before started to creep over me. 

What if he didn't come home.

See, his last deployment, he was tucked away safe and sound in the belly of a Naval Aircraft Carrier. A massive, floating stronghold.  A tool of intimidation.  

I had no fears of him being shot at. blown up. attacked. 

But Afghanistan is different. It's a target with a lot of weaknesses. 

To say the least, i'm having a hard time not allowing these kinds of fears to consume me. I'm trying to be strong. I know Justin has to have had these things cross his mind as well, so i have to be strong. i have to be confident that he'll be perfectly safe... i mean, he is a part of a supply unit after all, not on the front lines. He'll be at an "airport" type base for much of the time... which i'm sure MUST be crawling with security.

Right?

Anyways, i'm hoping to use this blog to chronical my thoughts and feelings through this deployment.  It'll be a place of raw thoughts and emotions... so i'm sorry in advance if it gets  bit "weepy" or "whiney". but i want to talk about the good and bad times. I'm hoping there will be plenty of good times through this seemingly dark time. 

"Fresh-Face" Fast!

So... i've come to the conclusion that i kinda suck at blogging. How long has it been??? wow.

To kick off getting back to blogging, i'm taking the challenge of doing my very first "fast" (though i'm doing a 30 day challenge instead of the full 40)... of makeup. I'm not a HUGE makeup user, by any means.  I use a general, cheapo moisturizer, foundation, concealer, eye-shadow, and mascara, and sometimes when i want to get really fancy... eye-liner. And i don't put a lot of money into it, i go to wal-mart and stick with a general brand.  BUT, i'm not doing this to save money, or take a stand against any certain brand or product... i'm doing this for ME. 

Let me explain.

Along with blogging, i also suck at loving ME. I avoid mirrors, cringe at videos of myself, and would MUCH rather be behind a camera than in front of one- which i think a lot of women feel! I just don't like the way i look.  Not necessarily my face (actually, my face is about the only body part i don't mind), but my self-love is almost non-existent.  So i am taking this challenge to get it through my head that yes, i am WONDERFULLY MADE by the same God that created the stars.  

I've looked at some of those awe-inspiring photos from the Hubble Space Station, and if THOSE don't convince you there's a God, i don't know what will! So why should i not think that the same creator took as much care and love and put it into ME?  He did.  He made me beautiful in every way, and i need to "get" that! 

So, i'm doing THIS in hopes that i will gain an appreciation for my Creator's work.  This site linked explains some of the rules, and hopes.  

NaNoWriMo... am i crazy? yes, yes i am.

with all the mundane writing that i'm required to write for school, there are many times where i feel that i completely lack a creative outlet. One that i truly can throw myself into. if i had the space, maybe scrapbooking. if i had the money, maybe piano lessons. I journal, and i write here every once in awhile... though, nothing really draws me to this blog. :S So when i heard about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), something that ANYONE can participate in... (not just those who get paid to write books, or even those who hope to get published), i was drawn to this idea.

See, back when i was about 14, i became completely obsessed with the "Left Behind: The Kids" book series, and actually started my own version of the same story line. I wrote over 300 pages of fiction... i couldn't actually peruse anything using that material for obvious reasons (SAME exact idea that came for my favorite, already-published, book series), but i would write for hours... my heart would race... and i loved the feeling that i could take my characters any direction i wanted... if i wanted more romance, i could do that. If i wanted there to be a sudden turn of events that made a previously loyal character turn into the nemesis, i could throw that in there. i LOVED it. Since then... since i discovered that i could enjoy WRITING as much as i enjoyed reading, and that i was capable of writing over 300 pages... i've played with idea of writing more. Especially now that i'm an adult. I'm thinking that participating in NaNoWriMo might give me the reason and motivation to write again.

The question then comes up... what about school? what about being a mom? well... if i don't make the 50,000 word goal at the end, no one knows but me... and i'll have gotten a good start on something, maybe... and who says that i have to stop at the end of November?

ok, so then what to write about? things personal to my life... high school heartbreak? a whirlwind romance? the experiences of motherhood? Navy life? Surviving deployment? Growing up in a small town? Obviously these things wouldn't be difficult to write about since i LIVED them... emotions are easy to tap into, and i basically just write memories. But what if i let me imagination go a little? what if i write about a life i WISH i had? Travel, adventure, passionate romance (well... i've got a little of that, i have to admit ;)

i've got tonight and tomorrow to think about it... but because it's not like i have a publisher waiting on a book about a specific topic... maybe i'll free-fall it... just sit down and write... and whatever comes out i'll call my "novel". hm.

this shall be an adventure, i think... at least it's something a bit more productive to do in my free time rather than just watch tv, play on facebook, or zone out on pinterest... right? :)

***If you'd like to check out NaNoWriMo for yourself... click HERE***

Introducing...

Weston Eugene Schaefer

Weston joined us in the world on Friday morning, July 1st (his actual due date!), at 10:52am.
He weighed in at a whopping 10lbs. and was 21" long

He's every picture of perfection, and we all seem to be adjusting to our new little family member fairly well! We did come to realize that Justin's little Accord wouldn't allow room for a car seat, SO we've had to purchase a different vehicle in order to accommodate the growing family. Thankfully, God came through BIG TIME, and basically dropped a great vehicle and deal into our laps!



I hope to be able to sit and type out Weston's birth story using this blog soon!

Many changes look to be coming our way...