"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, i will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge." Psalm 62:5-7
"O God, you are my God, earnestly i seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as i life, and in your name i will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed i remember ou; i think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, i sing in the shadow of your wings." Psalms 63:1-7
i'm having to daily remind myself who the "King of Confusion" is lately... my emotions are a complete mix of everything... pride, resentment, eagerness, fear, passion, numbness, longing, and passive flippancy. But You, O God, bring only truth... i pray that you pour it on me... bathe me in your will. Enable me to feel your gentle tugs like full out kicks in the rear... and give me strength, and assurance in each step on the path You've marked. God, i am so fearful of what i've done, our current status, and where we are to go from here... and that my husband is not calling to you. Father, i cling to You... for you are the only thing that goes unchanged... you are the only forve in my life that is constant... in love, and in longing for my absolute happiness.
which way, God?
one way... i sacrifice time with my husband, who already feels so far from me. I don't trust him, i admit it. or do i just not trust YOU with him? I hurt my parents... i walk away from everything i've worked so hard to build, thinking this would be HOME. resentment builds... more nights alone, more meals for 2 and not 3 as it should be, more lonely holidays, more time of exhaustion... on a volunteer basis. Does he even want to be here? moving in about a year and a half to who knows where... adventure, resentful family... missing out on family stuff... financial security.
way two... he'll resent me, so much uncertainty. possibly financial instability, dead end? but at least we'll be together and home... but if home is a card-board box, filled to the brim with resentment... what good is being together? He won't be happy...
God... i cry to you... lead me! give my family understanding... give my husband a hunger for relationship with you... give me peace in a direction... i'm torn... it feels like it's either his happiness or mine... WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY??????!
"praise God from whom all blessings flow... praise Him, all creatures, here below... praise Him above, ye heav'nly host... praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost... Amen..."
About Me
- Anna Mae
- Oskaloosa, Iowa, United States
- Hello! I'm Anna, and this is my little corner of the internet. Here is where I hope to share my general life experience. I'll have a bit of everything. Stuff about parenting, pregnancy, politics, photography, TV/Movies/Books, God, Marriage... So take a second to enjoy. Thanks for stopping by!
Family Picture
The Schaefer Family
"Love knows not it's own power. until the darkest hour of separation"
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it kindles the great."- Rabutin"
To try to write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished."- Roland Barthes
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” - Lin Yutang
"You have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"-Little Women
"I never knew how to worship, until i knew how to love"- Henry Ward Beecher
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it kindles the great."- Rabutin"
To try to write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished."- Roland Barthes
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” - Lin Yutang
"You have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"-Little Women
"I never knew how to worship, until i knew how to love"- Henry Ward Beecher
My beautiful kiddos
"Women wished to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.- Henri Frederic Amiel
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill
My husband & I
“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.” - Maya Angelou
"Sometimes we love someone so much we have to be numb to it... because if we actually felt how much we loved them... it'd kill us." -Riding In Cars With Boys
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh
"Sometimes we love someone so much we have to be numb to it... because if we actually felt how much we loved them... it'd kill us." -Riding In Cars With Boys
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh
family
Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 27:1-3
The Lord is my light and my salvation-
whom shall i fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall i be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
When my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will i be confident.
whom shall i fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall i be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
When my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will i be confident.
1 comment:
I'm praying for you this morning, Anna. I know those feelings so intimately.
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..."
Psalm 37:4-7a
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