Monday, July 27, 2009

dread...

thats what i'm filled with... i am DREADING friday, when Justin is scheduled to pull out of San Diego, CA. He is anxious and excited i think... though he doesn't say so to ME because he knows how sick i am about it... just THINKING about it makes me tear up. I don't want to think about it. 6 months... no phone calls... no web cam... no pictures from him.. not even the option of making a trip out to be with him... and only HOPING for an email daily. He'll miss so much... my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, our 3 year Anniversary. And i'll miss HIS birthday... having him here for family events... getting to spoil him rotten for our Ann. *sigh* i hate this...

I can't deny that i'm jealous... all the amazing places he'll go... ugh.

BUT i'm trying to really focus on where I'M going!!!! I'm am WAY excited that i have Central College to look forward to. And justin, after studying up on the details of the GI Bill, plans on also attending Central once he comes home for good. I can just imagine us both graduating from Central College... caps... gowns... celebrations... FINALLY graduating college... a goal i feel like i've been fighting to reach for years already... and really, i still have 4 years ahead of me. But i'm SO excited! and i feel like i have some amazing direction from some people at Central College. :) SO i'm focusing on that.

i just hate going alone... it's gonna be hard... working my way through college, being a mom, making good grades (in hopes of getting more financial help)... BUT, i can do it. :) i have to!

1 comment:

Katy Lin :) said...

oh honey! i just want to hug you! love you, and praying for you all the time! :)