Justin made it to the airport and into the air ok today... it was really messy actually, but they made it. First they're plane got delayed, then it got changed to a later flight, then that wasn't good enough, so they changed AIRPORTS!!!!! They finally got into the air at about 12noon i think. They are well on there way to California, where they will be taken to the USS Nimitz and leave on Friday.
I've been kind of a mess all day... i don't want to DO anything... i just want to lay around and miss him and daydream of him and envision our reunion. I already can't wait! i just can't seem to wrap my mind around the things he'll miss... Christmas... our Wedding Ann....without my husband? it's just not right... and no matter what my family does to fill the void... or how many "Girl Nights" i fill my schedule with... it won't fix it... it won't make the ache go away...
unless you're a military spouse... or have spent MONTHS away from your husband... you can't begin to understand what THIS is... i feel like 1/2 my brain is gone, i can't even think straight. Everything is missing SOMETHING... in a room FULL of fun, and loving people i still feel like i am standing alone... looking around for what is missing... but i know what is missing. And nights are just endless... i can't sleep unless i'm EXHAUSTED... and even when i have the whole bed to myself... i fill it with pillows, or bring Nathaniel into my bed just to fill it. I think about him... about being with him... having him curled up beside me... and it feels like the pillows and blankets and baby still can't fill his spot. And i know they really can't... i was just hoping something would.
i promise not to let my blog become a "POOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" blog... but i AM gonna have my days... and nights where i just need to wallow and talk it out. I do journal... so that will help.
But right now... i miss him... and i'm lonely... and it's really not gonna feel any better til he is HOME and we don't have to say goodbye anymore.
no goodbyes... not even any impending goodbyes to worry about... it hardly seems like a reality. Maybe someday... maybe a year... maybe 25 years til that someday arrives... but someday.
About Me
- Anna Mae
- Oskaloosa, Iowa, United States
- Hello! I'm Anna, and this is my little corner of the internet. Here is where I hope to share my general life experience. I'll have a bit of everything. Stuff about parenting, pregnancy, politics, photography, TV/Movies/Books, God, Marriage... So take a second to enjoy. Thanks for stopping by!
Family Picture
The Schaefer Family
"Love knows not it's own power. until the darkest hour of separation"
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it kindles the great."- Rabutin"
To try to write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished."- Roland Barthes
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” - Lin Yutang
"You have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"-Little Women
"I never knew how to worship, until i knew how to love"- Henry Ward Beecher
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it kindles the great."- Rabutin"
To try to write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished."- Roland Barthes
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” - Lin Yutang
"You have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"-Little Women
"I never knew how to worship, until i knew how to love"- Henry Ward Beecher
My beautiful kiddos
"Women wished to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.- Henri Frederic Amiel
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill
My husband & I
“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.” - Maya Angelou
"Sometimes we love someone so much we have to be numb to it... because if we actually felt how much we loved them... it'd kill us." -Riding In Cars With Boys
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh
"Sometimes we love someone so much we have to be numb to it... because if we actually felt how much we loved them... it'd kill us." -Riding In Cars With Boys
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh
family
Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 27:1-3
The Lord is my light and my salvation-
whom shall i fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall i be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
When my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will i be confident.
whom shall i fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall i be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
When my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will i be confident.
1 comment:
You have you right to your Poor Me days! I will be thinking and praying for you!
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