Tuesday, April 28, 2009

got me thinking...

ran across a blog... this young lady of 18 was talking about the touchy subject of female submission in the church and in the home. And i realized, as i read her blog... that it IS a touchy subject! i found myself wanting to correct, educate, and defend a more... "relaxed" version of that same "rule". See, i believe that women shouldn't be HEAD pastors... but i firmly believe that when talking about YOUTH pastors, or leaders working closely with CHILDREN, women should undoubtedly be involved... as a partner, or main leader for smaller children for sure. I DO NOT want a female president for this country... God made men to lead in a way women cannot. period.

but in a marriage, where the man and woman are SO close, and SO intimate... the lines become muddy, and complicated. See, Justin and i may have it backwards... but right for us. I'm the more spiritually mature... i was brought up in the church, accepted Christ at 3, then rededicated at about 15, i've had my valleys, and my mountain tops, i talk with God everyday, and am active in the church. Justin was brought up in and out of the Catholic church, accepted Christ in 2005, leaned on God heavily through Navy bootcamp, but since then been complacent (being in the military makes a day-in-day-out LIVING faith, really hard! :( )... so in our home, i am the spiritual leader... but i pray for my husband's spiritual health, i pray fervantly for my husband to become a man of God and our home's leader. We discuss, and share our thoughts about things in the Bible, about God in our lives, and i see Justin growing... maybe not as drastically, or quickly as i'd like... but he is coming to understand the part that God wants to play in our everyday life! That is great to me!

Then i see a extreme of submission... where every penny is overseen, every plan is approved, outfits ok'ed... and... i get REALLY defensive and my inner feminist comes out. I mean, i ask justin if we can afford certain things... i try to make him feel included in all my plans, but in our situation, i can't run my daily schedule by him hardly at all. I tell him after the fact!... i don't dress slutty, i ask if he likes what i'm wearing, but come on, i'm not a doll, and i need clothes, man! i'm not waiting around for you to feel generous to just give me the privaledge of buying new underwear! my gosh. lol And then... i see husbands being demanding, pouty, unappreciative, and whiney! UGH! if you're gonna submit to a man... submit to a MAN... not a little boy who stomps his feet and blows you off when you break your back trying to be exactly what he wants! Pretty sure Jesus wouldn't do that.

I don't know... i've had this brewing. I see sweet girlfriends, striving to be Godly wives... then all they get is a pat on the head as hubby walks by. >:( grrrrrrr... i mean, marriage is a partnership, a team effort, a mutual love and respect. Your husband is meant to be adored, as well as respected... but isn't respect earned to some extent????? A wife is meant to be cherished and nutured. And encouragement, consideration, fairness, faithfulness, honesty, and patience is naturally meant to be given to both!!!! IT'S A TWO WAY STREET!

i love the way my husband and i work... he is faithful, encouraging, strong, wise... i adore him and respect him beyond words. But i also know that he trusts me to make good descisions too... that he trusts that i have a brain, that i have good, spirit-led, judgement... that he loves me, respects me as a woman, and wants to make me happy. I adore him, and respect him... but he doesn't have to stomp around pouting to get it, or demanding it... he is a GOOD husband, and earns my trust, my adoration, and my respenct. and i strive to serve him... and let him know what an amazing man i think he is. I want him to know that i think he's SO smart financially... so i run all our spending by him, but not cuz he'll stomp around if i DON'T... because i feel better if i do.

i don't know... maybe i'm just a silly, nieve, only-2-years-into-marriage, honeymooner... but i love God, a lot, and i feel like God is blessing the way we're going... and i get defensive. lol SO... thats my blog.

this ends my rant.



Cher said...

I don't think you are naive at all...sounds like you have wisdom well beyond your years! I definately agree that men and women are created differently and as such have their own distinct roles. It is very good to "balance" each other. Well said! AND....I have definately had a few requests for long-distance ideas (especially pertaining to military couples!) I am getting right on that and will be posting my ideas hopefully soon!

The Turkstra's said...

You so have wisdom way beyond your years! I am so proud of you for being your husbands prayer warrior!

IRW Dana said...

Oh Sweet Anna, when did you grow up into a beautiful, strong and wise woman??? God created men and women and our rolls in this world. We are not to mess with it. Keep praying for your husband and being a Godly wife and the Lord will bless your family. Love you Dana

havingfunyet? said...

Lol! I LOVE your blog! I think you hit it right on! I fully believe that as women we can teach classes and things like that! I love my drama team that I lead! I think it is amazing to see that you and your husband have such an incredible relationship! I pray that God blesses your relationship!Two Thumbs up!

Katie said...

You definitely are on the right track! I think what people forget when the try to argue about women submitting to their husbands is to READ THE WHOLE CONTEXT :) 'Wives, submit to your own husbands....Husbands, LOVE your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.' It is a two-way street! Both parties have responsibilities to the other, and that is what God intended, not a super power on either side, but like you said, God made men to lead in ways women cannot.
A quote that I really like, and have no idea where it's from, not a Katie Johnston original is:
"God created woman from a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked all over. Not from his head to be superior to him. But from his side to be his equal, under his arm to be her protector, and next to his heart to be loved."